Friday, June 24, 2011
I am currently sitting in my room, all packed and waiting to go to the airport. It has finally hit me. I'm leaving today. I've had such mixed feelings about this trip ever since I decided to go, but I felt God's call and knew I needed to go.
"It's only 12 days, what good can I really do in that short amount of time?" I can't even count how many times that thought has crossed my mind.
Today, as I write this, I think I finally know the answer. None. I can do no good in that short amount of time. I mean sure, I can probably bring some joy to a few kids, I'll be able to teach young women about one out of sixty-five books of the Bible, and maybe I'll repair someone's roof or floor or something. But you know what? Then I'll go home and there is a good chance I will never see any of these people again.
So it's a good thing this trip isn't about me.
Because I wasn't called to the Dominican Republic to fulfill any plans of mine or anyone on this earth for that matter. I was called to the Dominican Republic do God's work. I am called to join with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I have no idea what is going to happen on this trip, nor should I. God's plan is so much bigger than I could ever comprehend and if I put my trust in that, God will do more good than I could even imagine.
And that is what this trip is about.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
I had a dream last night that I was getting ready to go to the midnight showing of the last Harry Potter Movie (I want to pee every time I watch that trailer by the way. I know, it's a weird reaction, but it happens). Anyway, in this dream I made an outfit to look like Hermione. Well, when I woke up I realized that everything I used to make the outfit in my dream I actually own.
It's clear in the Bible that God can speak to us through dreams. Just ask Abraham, Daniel, Ezekiel, Joseph, Paul, etc. So, I mean, whoever said that Harry Potter is evil should probably think again. Clearly God wanted me to have the perfect costume to wear to the premier, so He must kind of like it. Just saying...
Monday, June 13, 2011
"stop and smell the roses,"
I hear it all the time.
"because beauty is right under our noses!
and the view from the top is worth the climb."
running down my street today,
with sun rays sinking in my skin,
I noticed the trees arranged in a stunning way
a way I suppose they've always been.
but our busy lives can leave us blinded
and I know it sounds cliche,
it's just that sometimes it's nice to be reminded
because earth without art is just eh.
Monday, June 6, 2011
I never thought I would learn one of the most valuable lessons about humanity from one of the greatest physicists to ever exist, but I am.
"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
Maybe Newton's third law applies to more than just physics equations. "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." Physics was not my best subject in school, but if this is a so called "Law of Physics," doesn't that mean it applies to everything? I think so.
I guess what I'm saying is that we never know how our actions are going to effect the world. We can't know how, but we must know that they will. All we can do is wake up every morning and pray that God will use us in a way that will help those around us and be open to follow what he tells us. And if we do that, hopefully we will be able to widen "our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Sometimes I can't stop thinking...
Then I think, "well, I would rather never stop thinking then never be able to think."
Then I think, "why would I ever be faced with only these two options AND be able to make the decision."
Then I think, "just stop thinking tonight and go to bed."
Then I think, "that was still a thought."
Then I think, "that was still another thought."
Then I think, "this will go on forever."
Then I think, "maybe there really are only two options: to never be able to stop thinking or never be able to think; we just don't have the ability to decide ourselves."
Then I think, "well, I would rather never stop thinking then never be able to think."
...then I go to bed.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
this dog. this dog right here.
For those of you who don't know her, this is Sprocket. She's the fifth member of the Naramore family. Well, was I guess. She's the only dog I've ever had and the reason I'm writing this blog is because I no longer have her.
I was going to write all about how my family got her and about the time that we had her, because honestly, there are some great stories. But really the reason I'm writing this isn't to tell her history. It's because I miss her and this makes me miss her a little less or something. I don't know.
Sprocket was 12 years old when we put her to sleep today. She was dying of cancer and it was time to ease her suffering. I thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I lost it in the vets office and had to go outside, but then I was okay. Well I was okay until I came home tonight and she wasn't there greeting me at the door with the sound her tail pounding against the wall and her heavy breathing from all of the excitement. I walked into the living room and saw the empty place where her bed was for the past 9 years. Then I wasn't okay again.
I don't know if dogs go to heaven or if they simply just stop existing. I guess that's not something I will really know until my time comes, but I think I'm okay with that. Sprocket is at peace now and whether she is chilling with some angels on some huge grass field in heaven or not doesn't really matter. God gave me her when I needed her most and took her from me when he knew her time was up.
Because that's what pets are, a best friend who loves you with everything they have until they have no more left. Then they leave. But they don't leave you alone. They leave you with all of the love they gave while they were here. They leave you with so many memories. They leave you with the knowledge that for that period of time you were their world. And that's the best way to leave.
So I guess that's it. The Naramore family is one furry member shorter, but a lifetime of love and memories stronger. Sprocket I miss you. More than I could have expected. You were a good dog. The best actually. But life goes on. And you know what? Maybe I'll see you in heaven some day. Be good up there. Try to get along with the other dogs, even though I know that's hard for you.
I love you bubby.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Recently, I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be human. God created something so unique in us when he made us humans. Now, I could go on talking about this forever, but there are a few points I feel are important to share.
In Rob Bell's book, Sex God, he wrote a chapter called "Angels and Animals". He explains that we are neither angels nor animals. Animals are beings without souls, they are purely physical. Angels are beings with only souls, they are not physical. Humans are neither. We have souls and physicality. This may not seem like a revolutionary idea, but I think it brings up a good point. Why do we compare ourselves so often with these two beings? We can describe people as animals or we can say that people are trying to be angels. By acting purely based on our physical yearnings and wants, we are being animals, but by trying to fully deny our physical yearnings and wants, we are being angels. We aren't supposed to be either.
It's like we see this s p e c t r u m of perfection with angels on one side, animals on the other, and us somewhere in the middle. As Christians we should try to move as far to the angel side in our lives as is possible right? No. I don't think so. We apologize for our humanity all the time. "Well, I'm only human..." As if that's a bad thing. God has enough angels. He wants humans. Now, I understand it is a struggle trying to figure out what being fully human as God intended us to be looks like. But if we put more energy into figuring that out and forget about trying to become an angel, I think we would be a lot better off.
"Nature obtains perfection, but man never does. There is a perfect ant, a perfect bee, but man is perpetually unfinished... It is this incurable unfinishedness which sets man apart from other living things. For, in the attempt to finish himself, man becomes a creator. Moreover, the incurable unfinishedness keeps man perpetually immature, perpetually capable of learning and growing."
-Eric Hoffer, Reflections on the Human Condition
I believe that God created something beautiful in humanity. Embrace it.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Yesterday I left home, to go home. I left my family of 53 girls on my hall to be with my parents and sister. It's weird realizing you have to two families. My family is and always has been such a blessing. They are so loving, supportive, and beautiful. I truly do not know how I would have turned out with anyone else raising me. Our relationship is changing as I grow up, but it is only becoming better. I love being at my house. I love being with them.
But now I have this other family. This family at my school. The friends I've meet there have impacted me more than I could have ever imagined possible. They are so loving, supportive, and beautiful. I can't imagine surviving this year or any of college for that matter without them. They have become my family. I love being at my school. I love being with them.
"When I'm home, I miss school; when I'm at school I miss home."
I've heard people say this multiple times. I've been one of them, but tonight I'm learning that this is a horrible mind set to have. I should be joyful in whichever place I'm in because not most people have what I do in these relationships. I have two homes; some people have none. I have two families; some people have none. And that's not something I'm willing to take for granted.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to do something great with my life. Unique, right? I'm a month into my second semester of college and I have less of an idea of what I want to do with my life than I ever have. "that's normal." "don't worry, I changed my major TONS of times." I know it's supposed to be comforting, but it isn't. What's wrong with not knowing what you want to do with your life? I'm not convinced that anyone ever really does know, but I'm convinced that that's okay. For now, all I can do is wake up every morning and pray that I follow what God wants of me that day. But is that all I can ever do? I hope so.
I have this role model, her name is Ellen Degeneres. I believe she has wisdom that we can all learn from. She lives her life with a sense of simplicity.