Wednesday, May 25, 2011

RMS: Restless Mind Syndrome

Sometimes I can't stop thinking...

Then I think, "well, I would rather never stop thinking then never be able to think."

Then I think, "why would I ever be faced with only these two options AND be able to make the decision."

Then I think, "just stop thinking tonight and go to bed."

Then I think, "that was still a thought."

Then I think, "that was still another thought."

Then I think, "this will go on forever."

Then I think, "maybe there really are only two options: to never be able to stop thinking or never be able to think; we just don't have the ability to decide ourselves."

Then I think, "well, I would rather never stop thinking then never be able to think."

...then I go to bed.

Saturday, May 21, 2011


this dog. this dog right here.

For those of you who don't know her, this is Sprocket. She's the fifth member of the Naramore family. Well, was I guess. She's the only dog I've ever had and the reason I'm writing this blog is because I no longer have her.

I was going to write all about how my family got her and about the time that we had her, because honestly, there are some great stories. But really the reason I'm writing this isn't to tell her history. It's because I miss her and this makes me miss her a little less or something. I don't know.

Sprocket was 12 years old when we put her to sleep today. She was dying of cancer and it was time to ease her suffering. I thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I lost it in the vets office and had to go outside, but then I was okay. Well I was okay until I came home tonight and she wasn't there greeting me at the door with the sound her tail pounding against the wall and her heavy breathing from all of the excitement. I walked into the living room and saw the empty place where her bed was for the past 9 years. Then I wasn't okay again.

I don't know if dogs go to heaven or if they simply just stop existing. I guess that's not something I will really know until my time comes, but I think I'm okay with that. Sprocket is at peace now and whether she is chilling with some angels on some huge grass field in heaven or not doesn't really matter. God gave me her when I needed her most and took her from me when he knew her time was up.

Because that's what pets are, a best friend who loves you with everything they have until they have no more left. Then they leave. But they don't leave you alone. They leave you with all of the love they gave while they were here. They leave you with so many memories. They leave you with the knowledge that for that period of time you were their world. And that's the best way to leave.

So I guess that's it. The Naramore family is one furry member shorter, but a lifetime of love and memories stronger. Sprocket I miss you. More than I could have expected. You were a good dog. The best actually. But life goes on. And you know what? Maybe I'll see you in heaven some day. Be good up there. Try to get along with the other dogs, even though I know that's hard for you.

I love you bubby.